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Lethal_Vampire
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Country: Canada
Birthday: 7/11/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: To the guy who has givin me everything I could ever desire, Nathaniel you are my world, my purpose all reason I have left in life. You have my heart and you always will, never forget that I love you, fuck everything else, all I need is you. I live for you and Id do anything for you. Forever I am yours.
Expertise: Dream of nothing reality has become a meaningless waste. Whats left of this hollowness inside of me, this emptyness I know so well. Will this pain i feel ever cease to be or will I survive forver in nihiliy. Bloody scars ripped open again by jagged blades while blood drips off my wirst, theres nothing left. theres no one here. feel my lonliness consume you.
Occupation: Student
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/29/2003
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| Through reflective glass I can see my eyes are bleeding again...tears of crimson staining as they run down my pale cheeks. Is there anything left here for me? My hearts screaming so loud yet no one hears these cries that echo upon these four walls night after night. I feel myself shifting, loosing consciousness, vision blurring as the knife in my hand drops to the floor, splashing onto the blood that seems to be making pools on the ground staining the carpet, but what does it matter anymore, really? what does anything matter? My wrists are burning again from new slashes, legs cut up so much they become numb...and i stagger around the room, fighting to stand i collapse onto my bed and allow the blood to coninue flowing staining the bedsheets my hands are stained and i place them on the wall, marking the room with my life ending. i cant feel my insides yet i can hear my heart throbbing so loudly, the beat of a thrashing drum, will it be broken, are the pieces about to shatter? Theres nothing left here for me, im empty, numb and crying. And while I close my eyes and fall to a dream world, a fantasy within my head i forget about the pain and loose myself within.
This is my goodbye, for now lets hope.
I love you Nathaniel. | | |
| Walking, waiting, thoughts of dispair running through my head. Tears of yesterday are beinging me tears again today and as I stand here alone in the darkness i listen to my heartbeat vibrate off the walls of my inside destoying the silence of this rainy night. Cloudy skys reflect through these sorrowful eyes while I drown in depression, rain upon my shoulders, drenching into my black clothes. I feel my soaked hair plaster upon my pale face. I can hear the screams inside my head but I cant get them out, as if my voice is stuck within me I gag on nothing and choke on emptyness. When feeling as if theres nothing left you begin to believe it perhaps it is true. Drop to the floor...tremble and twitch while the voices torment my mind. Swallow the regret down, fuck it all, feel my rage and the knife in my hands, stabbing myself with the 6 1/2 inch long blade continulesly, into wrist, into heart, into throat. forgetting it all I watch my miserable life pass through my eyes and I slip between conciousness, fading into pools of ebony i close my eyes and forget the pain. | | |
| In emptyness she stands, crying alone in a bedroom forgotten by all, fallen dust rests in unclean hair as she wipes off bloody tears from her face with trembling hands. looking down at the floor she watches as the spiders crawl up her legs, yet doesent bother to move away, knowing that nothing no longer matters she holds the blade in her hands, already tainted with blood from previous slashes that run along her thigh and down her soft legs. she moves her hand to her wrist and allows the knife to scratch upon the surface of her skin. Slashing deep she carves a strait deep line into her wrist, slashing, faster with every stroke all in the same place. She feels the vein upon the tarnished knife and slits it quickly smiling at the pain, laying upon a bed of dried blood and moth eaten sheets she feels herself slipping from conciousness, continuing to slash the same area, deeper into the large gash she lets out a scream and forces the blade through, forgetting the silence, forgetting the past, forgetting it all, shell die at last.
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| Standing here I let the world just pass me by, a meaningless wrap of events moving beyond my sight, left in lonleyness I fade away into nothingness, meaninglessness. What is this place and why am I here? Leave me to my left, allow me to rott away in a dead carcass, bleeding crimson on tainted silver blades far from the eyes to see I dissappear. Lost in pain, Im forever erased, forever incased...in this emptyness. | | |
| I stand here waiting, stairng at flaming leaves as they fall to the grond and burn out. under a midnight sky i know im alone here, my only companion the icy wind, the touch of death upon my cold neck and face...embrace me. Comming rapidly, fall upon my face, tears from the sky, falling swiftly onto me they freeze into jagged edjes and punge into my flesh. dark figures watching me, i can see their red eyes glow, the demons in my head forever haunting me, i know i am no longer alone, but do i want the company of these beings, i am not sure. their cold voices wispering into my ear i can feel their humid breath upon my pale face, will they leave me. why am i here? the questions mix with words i cannot comprehend,. are they of another language? speaking clearly for my subconcious to hear and understand. Plunging me back down to a suicidal state my eyes search for a sharp edge for some sort my trembling hands reach out for the knife that lays there solemly on the hard wood floor. studing the razor like blade of silver i slash into my wrist as the veins call out to me from with in my body. cheering me on the demons are clear now. the voices, i feel the darkness embrace, death is here, death is here. i dig deep holes into my flesh, plunging deeper as i search to rip through my veins until i find them. the blood pours, crimson tainting silver, my flesh is stained with my liquid mixing with the salty tears that run down my face. lossing track of time I lay within this hollow existance, this shell i am caged in within every day and night, i stand here alone. Still waiting, but for what? | | |
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